


Turtle Pie

by vericus



Series: Sparks AUs [7]
Category: Transformers (Bay Movies)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humour, Megatron being allowed to kick ass, RotF Sparks-style
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-02
Updated: 2013-01-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 09:28:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/620620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vericus/pseuds/vericus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He suddenly realized he didn't want to know anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Turtle Pie

**Author's Note:**

> Sparks versus Revenge of the Fallen. Oh dear.

In Optimus's defense, he'd done his best to get Alex out of the line of fire. But the Fallen's drone troops were determined to cause as much destruction, and as many casualties, as possible. Which was fine, except that Alex had an overwhelming urge to protect life now, thanks to the Allspark. Optimus left her in a safe zone, well outside the combat area - she went running into the combat zone all by herself. The bad thing about that was that the Fallen knew what she looked like, and what she meant to Optimus.

The battle was well underway when the Fallen finally spotted her, helping civilians out of rubble. Optimus had been trying to keep the Fallen's back to her, but inevitably, he failed. The Fallen's optics lit up with horrible glee, and Optimus redoubled his attacks even as he saw drones heading for Alex's position. Fortunately, the human woman had seen the danger coming, as well, and started hurrying, helping people up, getting those that seemed coherent and non-panicky to help others, and then she took off running.

The Fallen was not to be denied, though. He ordered a group of drones to swarm Optimus, and as the Prime suddenly had more immediate concerns, the Fallen turned his attention to the human sprinting through the battlefield, a group of his drones on her heels. Alex had to have known that it was a bad sign when the drones peeled off, because she didn't stop running, giving her just a few more seconds ahead of the Fallen as he strode over to catch her - only he never did.

Three successive sonic booms caught the attention of most of the battlefield, even the drones. The Fallen, intent on his quarry, didn't look up along with the rest - which was his own doom. The black blur slammed into him at super-sonic speeds, sending both sliding along, and into, the ground for almost three blocks. Dust boiled into the air, and then there was a mighty roar before the dust cloud lit up with weapons fire. A screech of pain, followed by the sound of metal tearing, and then there was silence. Outside of the dust cloud, the drones sat back on their haunches, their optics blank, lacking the input to continue their previous attacks.

"Fragging...glitched...moronic..." Everyone was staring, stunned, as Megatron emerged from the dust cloud, his plating scuffed and scorched to the Pits, and headed straight for Alex. "You are fragging _insane._ "

"And you're slow," Alex told him, sticking her tongue out at him.

" _Slow?!"_ the former Decepticon leader all but roared at her. "It took me _five astroclicks_ to get here!"

"Slowpoke," Alex declared with a nod of her head. Megatron growled, turned around, and stalked back into the dust cloud, which had been settling a bit, but was stirred up by his re-entry into it. A few moments later, the Fallen's head came flying out, landing a dozen meters to Alex's left.

"You can have _that_ to keep you company from now on," Megatron yelled from within the cloud, then blasted off out of the dust cloud, heading back in the direction he'd come from - towards Montana, and presumably Cybertron Valley. There was a long silence after he left, and then finally, cautiously, Optimus approached Alex.

"Alex..." he began tentatively, then paused, as if he wasn't quite sure what he wanted to say. "What just happened?" he finally settled on.

"Your brother was just showing off, don't worry about it," Alex said dismissively. "Shouldn't you be starting clean-up?" Optimus paused, then turned around and proceeded to do just that. He would figure out what the hell had just happened later, when there weren't injured humans in need of aid nearby.

\---

"Stop ignoring me, femme."

"No. You threw a severed head at me."

"In was the _Fallen's_."

"It was still a severed head."

"You are being ridiculous."

"Am not."

"Are too."

Optimus pinched the bridge of his nose and did his best to prevent his processor from crashing as Megatron and Alex proceeded to exchange rapid-fire 'am not/are too's like children. Throughout it all, Megatron kept poking Alex in the shoulder, and every time he did so, she scooted a few inches further away. She was about three dozen pokes from the edge of the table, and Optimus wasn't sure he wanted to know what she'd do then. He was seriously debating just turning around and leaving the two of them alone in the bar, in fact.

The Valley had been empty of all save for Megatron when the last battle against the Fallen had taken place, and after the display at the battle, everyone had waited for Optimus to return first to talk to his brother. Except Optimus had gone to Megatron's quarters, while Alex - who had of course come with him - went to the bar 'to get a drink'. It turned out Megatron was in the bar, and when Optimus looked in, he'd come upon the two of them having their absurd argument.

Finally, he decided that enough was enough, and just as Alex scooted to the edge of the table, he walked over and picked her up, moving her back to the center of the table. She and Megatron both gave the Prime a reproving look, as if he'd done something wrong.

"Stop that," he told them irritably. Megatron smirked and leaned back in his chair, arms crossed across his chest. Alex frowned suspiciously at the former dictator. "Would one of you care to explain to me exactly what happened at that battle? _Besides_ the Fallen dying and us winning." Long experience with the twins had Optimus ruling out the obvious smartaft responses immediately.

"Megatron came to save the day like a hero in shining black armor?" Alex suggested with a smirk.

"Impudent meatsack," Megatron sneered.

"Awww, does that bother you, being called a hero?" Alex asked with a smirk.

"Hardly. Being compared to those ridiculous heroes in your pathetic race's hilariously terrible stories is not to my liking, however."

"Would you rather I compare you to the Prime's Guard?"

" _Enough,"_ Optimus interrupted before Megatron could reply, then pointed to Megatron with a stern expression. "How did you get out of the Valley?"

"I flew."

Optimus actually growled at that, earning him an impressed look from Alex, and a smirk from his brother.

"You know what I mean, Megatron. How did you get around the Allspark's protections keeping you in the Valley?"

"I didn't," Megatron drawled, then pointed to Alex. "She did."

"Hey now, we never decided for certain if I had anything to do with it!" Alex said indignantly.

" _You_ didn't. _I_ did," Megatron sneered.

" _How_ did Alex get you past the protections in the Valley? And why?" Optimus barreled ahead, not giving them a chance to get sidetracked again.

"I don't know, ask her," Megatron snipped. Optimus glared at his brother, then turned his gaze to Alex.

"He just showed up one day and told me that apparently he could leave the valley now, and blamed it on me," Alex said with a shrug, then smirked at the Decepticon leader. "Which resulted in a very interesting conversation about _why_ he blamed me -"

"And if you breathe a word of it, I _will_ squish you," Megatron threatened. Alex snickered, but didn't seem inclined to elaborate.

"You've been able to leave the valley for awhile then?" Optimus asked Megatron with a frown.

"About four months," Megatron replied dismissively.

"HAH! You used human time measurements!" Alex crowed, and Megatron scowled. They started bickering again, and Optimus sighed. He listened to them go at it for a little while longer, then turned and left the bar, heading out of the valley and back to the NEST base.

"Well? You find out what happened?" Ratchet asked irritably as Optimus arrived. Human, Autobot, and Decepticon were all paying attention for Optimus's answer as he sat idling on the tarmac of the base. He transformed abruptly, standing up to his full height and stretching carefully before turning to give Ratchet a dry look.

"No." He turned and made for the shooting range Ironhide had installed on the outskirts of the base.

**\- THE END -**


End file.
